Brian and Angela Anderson move forward after tragedy. Photos by Keith Borgmeyer As you turn down the long gravel path toward the Andersons’ home...
ART – the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination
Even the least creative and unimaginative person can love. There is an art to it and being creative makes it so much more interesting. Creating love with another person takes commitment and let’s face it, work. So the question is, how can you be an artful lover?
It’s been suggested that sustaining a long-term relationship means having a short memory and a huge sense of humor. These two attributes can help get you through the tough times that every relationship has to weather.
There is no perfect road map for every relationship. Every couple has to create their own path based on connection, respect and yes, fun. Couples who share, respect and laugh together are far less likely to find their relationship coming to a fork in the road.
When we’re on a long-road trip, seldom does one person do all the driving. Love is a team effort. It takes ongoing contributions from each partner. If you’re an artful lover, you wake up every day hoping that you can make your partner’s life a happy and fulfilling place. Write a note of love, send a text message or hold your partner’s hand going into the grocery store. Make the human, loving, connection of touch.
Two trees planted at the same time will grow at different rates. We’re different people at 60 than we were at 25. The addition of children, job changes and financial challenges can alter the dynamic of a relationship. Working through the challenges can create stronger bonds through being cohesive and resilient. Our physical, sexual needs and capabilities change and our life experiences can encourage growth or impede it. The key to an artful relationship is to be flexible and adapt at every stage.
An artful lover learns to not sweat the small stuff and to forgive the big stuff. Hanging onto small slights and dwelling on painful missteps in a relationship is like allowing ice and snow to accumulate on a branch. Without brushing it off or allowing the warmth of forgiveness to melt the ice, the branch will eventually break. Forgiveness takes practice, introspection and sometimes, outside help.
The creative lover will work to remain fascinating and interesting to their partner. Each partner has his or her own interests and own set of friends. Combining those with shared interests and friends will allow both to feel fulfilled. Individual fulfillment opens our hearts and minds and allows us to be better partners.
Finally, the artful lover is above all, a friend. Partners, who are friends, encourage, mentor and are always honest in the kindest way. Allow your love life to be an imaginative and artful creation.