DeMarko Coleman and Teresa Wright connect over a bagel sandwich. Photos by Keith Borgmeyer The unlikely friendship between DeMarko Coleman and Teresa Wright started...
What impossible-seeming situation in your life would be a complete game changer if you could solve it? From time to time, I’ll ask my clients this very question. Ask yourself. Be bold! Think big!
As time goes on, many of us begin settling and playing small. It’s insidious. Slowly but surely, our dreams, our courage, our faith in ourselves and in humanity dwindles. It turns out, however, we have a choice. Yesterday is gone. And the choices we are currently making, and the choices we will make tomorrow, are all that count now. Our actions determine our future.
Recently I did something that I could previously never imagine myself doing: I posted on Facebook, to all my friends, that I was interested in a committed relationship, and I listed the qualities I was looking for in a man. It took me months to garner the courage to put that out there. I felt so vulnerable. What would people think of me? Lord knows I didn’t want to look needy, silly, desperate — the fears went on and on.
“Courage” comes from the French word coeur, which means “heart.” It’s an apt word; it takes courage to have an open heart. I was rewarded for my courageous Facebook post. So many people posted words of encouragement, love, and support. Now I have people keeping an eye out for this guy, and lo and behold, friends have even been setting me up with dates.
Find your coeur and step out. Select an area of your life in which you would like to gain more clarity, power, and satisfaction. It could be your job, your talents, or your relationships. Whatever is important to you.
Next, discover your “Conditions of Satisfaction.” A Condition of Satisfaction can be defined as any criteria that must be present for you to feel satisfied in a circumstance or relationship. Identifying your Conditions of Satisfaction is a key step in making powerful decisions that will align with your true desires, commitments, and life goals.
Put your Conditions of Satisfaction and the situation you want to evaluate into a table format. Rate each possible option according to the following scores: a 1, if it meets the condition; ½, if it sometimes meets the condition; or a 0, if it fails the condition. Add the totals and calculate the average score for each option at the bottom. You now have a numerical rating that offers you a clear choice to make. If scores come out even, you can choose either, but at least you’re basing your choice on what’s important to you, versus your feelings, impulses, or lack of clarity.
While it’s too soon to tell the outcome of my Facebook post, I do believe I moved the molecules around in a positive direction. If you’re curious about my Conditions of Satisfaction, send me a friend request.